Friday, May 31, 2013

Am I The Only One To Have Noticed?

Am I the only one to have noticed that Dawn Upshaw, in recent years, has turned into Shelley Winters?

The Shelley Winters of “The Poseidon Adventure”?

In fairness, I should note that one of my colleagues vehemently disagrees with me.

He saw Upshaw last evening, and he insists that Upshaw is now a dead ringer, not for Shelley Winters, but for Ma Barker.

Perhaps, in my defense, I may be allowed to point out that Shelley Winters once played Ma Barker?


  1. You are SO wicked!

    I am laughing so hard I am crying.

  2. No, you are NOT the only one to notice, Andrew. This month, as a matter of fact, Ms. Upshaw begins rehearsals for the new Jerry Schlesterfflomaelius play, "The Poseidon Adventure, the Musical," in which she will play Belle Rosen. Matt Gatens, I understand, will fill the role of Reverend Frank Scott.

    The play will be Mr. Gatens' fourth attempt to break into Broadway.

  3. This is extremely disturbing news!

    Just a few minutes ago, Josh and I began writing a new show, “Ma Barker: The Musical”, which we believed would be an ideal vehicle for Upshaw. Now that Upshaw is signed for the “Poseidon” show, she’ll probably have no interest in “Barker”. Is Barbara Cook still up to doing a show?

    We are writing the role of J. Edgar Hoover for Gatens. The role will provide Gatens with several opportunities to wear some lovely frocks.

    1. I wouldn't worry: Gatens may still be up for grabs for J. Edgar Hoover, especially, I'll wager, after the celebrity finds out that Director Zsou Zsou Schlesterfflomaelius (the playwright's brother) is seriously considering (under pressure) recasting him in the role of Nonnie Parry, the play's Producer having recently caught a fortuitous glimpse of - as it is rumored - Gatens' bare legs.

      The Producer, you see, had decided from the beginning to make use of the original Carol Lynley miniskirt.

  4. I would much rather see Matt Gatens in a miniskirt than Dawn Upshaw.