A Most Eye-Popping Announcement

From a 7 January 2011 Press Release Issued By The University Of Iowa Athletic Department:

The Iowa basketball program will recognize former head basketball coach and player Sharm Scheuerman during the Indiana-Iowa basketball game on Sunday, Jan. 23. Scheuerman passed away last summer.

The Iowa Hawkeyes will wear an “SS” patch on their uniform top in his honor.

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I am speechless—and not because of the basic and repeated plural/singular grammatical errors in this jaw-dropping press release.

I think I may want to tune in on January 23 solely in order to see the crowd reaction to the "SS" patches.

This has the potential to be bigger even than Matt Gatens’s upcoming one-woman show on Broadway.

May I assume that the Hawkeyes will wear recreations of the original SS Sports Patch, pictured below? The original SS Sports Patch, after all, featured Iowa’s school colors, black and gold, which makes it the most suitable choice for the Hawkeyes under the unfortunate circumstances.


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And, in closing, a personal note to Sally Mason, President Of The University Of Iowa, as well as to the members of The Iowa Board Of Regents:

You need to fire The University Of Iowa Athletic Director, Gary Barta, and afterward conduct a thorough housecleaning of The University Of Iowa Athletic Department, which is clearly—and lavishly—populated by morons.