An email message from a friend in Minneapolis:
The more I think about all the body mutilation we see today, the more I am in favor of it.
Ordinarily I have to waste time being around people to figure out if they're assholes or not. Frankly, it is pretty thoughtful of them to display their level of idiocy directly, so people can tell just by looking at them that they’re assholes.
This saves the rest of us the displeasure of interacting with them, and allows us the personal satisfaction of laughing at them for being such losers.
What could possibly motivate anyone to get a tattoo or piercing? It is simply incomprehensible to me. Like my friend in Minneapolis who sent the email message, I instinctively classify persons with tattoos and piercings as pond scum.
My sister-in-law, the psychiatrist, insists that tattoos and piercings are manifestations of low self-esteem.
My older brother on the subject: “There goes someone destined to go through life in a $9.00-an-jour job.”
My middle brother on the subject: “There goes someone who doesn’t have any friends to tell him how stupid he looks.”
My mother on the subject: “His mother must be heartbroken.”
My father on the subject: “Why, precisely, would someone even want to look like an ex-con?”
Josh on the subject: “There but for the grace of God . . .”